stories of an adoptive family
"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out." -Erma Bombeck

Sunday, November 4, 2012

It's a race to see who will die first...

Me or Him.  I'm also not sure if I will kill Seth or if he will kill himself.  Here's a few scenarios:
A. The air conditioner has stopped working upstairs.  I go outside to check it and find:
  1. The unit has broken and is no longer working. 
  2. A fuse has popped and needs to be reset.
  3. Seth has stuck a metal bar through the grating protecting the fan preventing it from turning.
B.  I am upstairs in the bathroom and I hear water running:
  1. I find Kenna in the bathroom downstairs actually flushing the toilet.
  2. I find Isabelle in the bathroom downstairs washing her hands.
  3. I find Seth with the hose off the patio spraying the dining room.
C.  Isabelle, Kenna and Seth are all playing on the balcony.  When I go out to check on them I find:

  1. Seth has wandered inside and is playing in his room.
  2. All three kids are running around screaming and playing with each other.
  3. Seth is nowhere to be found.  Upon further investigation he has climbed up the back part of the roof and is now climbing down the roof to the front of the house.  
If you picked option 3 for each scenario you are a winner.  Unfortunately the list goes on and on.  At least once a week and often at least once a day I will do one or all of the following:
  • Knock hangers and toys and clothes out of the tree next to the balcony with a broom.
  • Clean up a whole box of cereal that has been dumped on the ground because no one can lock the pantry door.
  • Fish things out of the toilet often seconds before he flushes or in mid-flush.  The latest thing being the can opener.
  • Pick books up out of the bushes.
  • Send Levi to our 2 back door neighbors to retrieve all the things Seth has thrown over the wall.
  • Put his clothes and diaper back on.
  • Tape books back together.
  • Clean pen off toys, body parts and walls.
  • And etc.
And now he has broken his tooth.  I wish I could give you some hilarious story about how it happened but he tripped and fell on his face.

So now you know why I never update my blog regularly.  Apparently, he is a "normal" boy and I never knew how good I had it with Levi.  I think though for my safety and his I need to invest in a pair of prison shackles or some rope to hogtie him with or I swear one of us won't make it to his 3rd birthday.


Winter said...

Oh man! I heard about some of these stories from Jayne the other day and I couldn't believe it! What a crazy kid! :)

Garrett B said...

I started hyperventilating a little as I read this. Rivers (3) is a rat, but luckily he's not as creative as Seth, and he's fairly lazy. He also chipped a tooth, though we never found out how.